It’s that time of year again, the time where you put off all your work in a mad scramble to dream up the perfect costume for the imminent Halloween festivities. If you’re like us, those festivities will definitely have an Economics theme. This is an admittedly difficult crowd to fit in with. But don’t worry, the AE team has got your back. To kick start your brainstorming process, we’re pleased to present our list of costume ideas, all of them based on our favorite economics-related government agencies. Happy Halloween!
The Federal Reserve: Walk in with only a balloon and a fat wad of cash. Poke a hole in the balloon and proceed to stuff it with the cash. Explain you’re trying to prevent deflation. Watch in horror as the balloon suddenly bursts after stuffing in too much cash. Quietly sweep it all under the rug, then spend the rest of the party annoying everyone by constantly bringing up how you’re not really a part of the government.
Department of the Treasury: Come dressed in a slick black suit and sunglasses. Never take the sunglasses off. When people ask why you’re wearing sunglasses at a nighttime party, tell them it’s a habit you picked up from a buddy you used to hang out with who was a Secret Service agent. No big deal.
Bureau of Labor Statistics: Show up in the season’s trendiest costume. You’re hot and you know that everyone will be paying attention to what you have to say. Announce your opinion of the music as the first song of the playlist ends. Revise your opinion halfway through the next song. Revise your opinion again near the end of that song, but become disappointed when you realize no one cares anymore. Repeat the process with every subsequent song until the party ends.
U.S. Census Bureau: Burst in dressed in your best Curious George finery. Quickly realize you’re probably not at the right party, but decide to hang out anyway. Proceed to creep everyone out by asking super personal questions.
Bureau of Economic Analysis: Show up with your pocket protector and abacus. Sit in the corner, drinking alone and seething with jealousy at how BLS gets all the attention. Perk up when hear someone mention “GDP,” then run through the party screaming “That’s me! That’s me! I know that one.” Bask in your 30 seconds of glory before slinking awkwardly back to the corner. Continue to drink.
Council of Economic Advisors for a Democratic President: Show up dressed like a [male donkey].
Council of Economic Advisors for a Republican President: Show up dressed like a [male donkey]. Pick a fight with the other [male donkey] about whose costume is better.
Congressional Budget Office: Take over bartending duties upon arrival. Like any good barkeep, spend the night dispensing sound advice based on rational assumptions and past experiences. Try to intervene when the two [male donkeys] get into, and watch stupefied as they both praise your words as gospel while simultaneously denouncing you as a shill for the other. Give up and drink in the corner with BEA.
The Internal Revenue Service: Show up uninvited and not in costume. But hey! You brought 10-39.6% of the booze from all the other parties you crashed, more than enough to keep this party going well into the night. Party on dudes.